just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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