A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize