He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
