There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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