He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
