Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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