there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
