i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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