he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
This is the high leading the old right now
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
