I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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