a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Text me some of your sweat
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize