Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
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