This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
