You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
