I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
