4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I could make wine with my vomit
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
It's official drugs can't kill me
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
