we're chasing vodka with high fives
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
