I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
