It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
