So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
