eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize