Please, let me fuck your mom
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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