after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
