woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
The air was thick with penises
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
