Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
