Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
