Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
My balls are so social today.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
