Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
