Define "chronic" masturbator.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize