How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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