WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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