Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
did i just pee glitter
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
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