just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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