You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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