how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
