I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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