one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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