Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
