the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
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