Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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