So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Randomize
