people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
