wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Randomize
