my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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