I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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