For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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