is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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