We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
