I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize