You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
