have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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