Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
So here I am, sexting at work.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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