Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Randomize