My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
