Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
