did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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