I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
