Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
