The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
NoShamevember. You game?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
