Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
it's not cheating when I paid for it
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
