its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
