this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
