no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
