if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize